For many years, subscribers to America Online and other commercial online services were able to participate in chat sessions. Now it's possible to join chats offered by hundreds of websites as well. Actually, the word "chat" may be somewhat misleading, because you are not really talking to anyone, just typing and reading text messages that participants write. Once you enter a chat room, which is really just a web page that runs special software, you can choose to just read the exchanges, known as lurking, or you can join in by posting your own messages.

Many chat rooms focus the conversation on specific topics, such as health, politics, football and so on. That way people with similar interests can find one another. Sometimes chat sessions lead to truly stimulating exchanges, but they are just as likely to be a waste of time. You should also be aware that some chat rooms are adult in nature. Exchanges can be sexually oriented, so parents take note. None of this should stop you from trying this electronic interaction. It can be a lot of fun and the price is certainly right--generally it's free--so there's little to lose.

A New You

After you choose your chat persona, you may also be able to select an image to represent you. These graphics can be anything from a frog to a prince or princess. Although communicating online lacks the nuances we get when talking face-to-face, these humorous graphics can personalize the experience in a small way, and break the monotony of a text-only screen. Equipped with a name and possibly a character, click the Enter button and follow the instructions to choose a chat room.

Join the Crowd

The same rules of behavior apply in chat rooms as they do to other online communications. Review the article on netiquette to avoid offending anyone. To minimize the amount of typing, people often use emoticons and abbreviations. For a list of common ones, see the Smileys article.

If you want, you can make a general posting to everyone in the chat room, expounding your views. But just like in the real world, you can also address your comments to a specific person. "Hey, Wild Bill, I had just the opposite experience . . ." Although everyone can read your message, it's clear that it's intended for a particular individual. Some chat rooms let you initiate private conversations by clicking on the name of a participant.

While chats can offer an engaging experience, proceed with caution. Use common sense. Remember that all your postings are public. Even if it appears that there is only one other person in a room, others can be lurking. Don't give out personal information to strangers you meet online--certainly not your address, phone number or credit card account. Having said that, it's time to start chatting.

Flirting on the Net is Easy

Dear Andrea,
I no longer know how basically, it doesn't really matter  I discovered your column but I'm glad it happened.  The topic we can read about there is probably affecting many people, but in the near future it will be happening on a mass scale.  I'm not using the word mass figuratively.

I'm affected to an extent on the subject.  I need to mention in the beginning that I'm not part of the younger generation and that makes this even more thought provoking.  Why do I feel as though I need to contribute my thoughts to the collection?  Simply, because during the past few days I've spent a lot of time trying to think what could have happened to me.  First the plain facts.  I was doing research on the net for my work (of course, that's what everybody would say), when by accident I came upon the TTC Chat.  There is no explanation why, but I logged in.  Even choosing a nick was as simple as if I were an old pro.  It appears that perhaps it worked too well.  I thought I was seeing things, within minutes I found myself 4-5 chat partners.  Naturally, they were all students.  I must admit I've thoroughly enjoyed my abrupt popularity as it came to me unexpectedly.  One of the usual questions of 'how old are you' I naturally put 52.  When I see it written down it stuns even myself because I don't feel that old, but facts are stubborn things.  It turned out that exactly the opposite happened from what I had expected.  The majority of the girls asked me for a date and then something that even today I can't find an explanation for.  I've exchanged e-mail addresses with one of the girls and we actually met.  Naturally my wife didn't know about this.

Since I was facing something unexplainable I thought a great deal about the situation of meeting people on the internet.  What is it that makes the chat so exciting, so magical?  We can meet people on the street, at clubs and several other opportunities.  As a common denominator of all of these is the fact that we base these meetings on exterior, on how we look.  Contrary to this on the net, at least in the beginning, the exterior may be ignored although this also must bring some element of excitement.  By the time things reach the meeting stage the interior has projected through the letters and shifts the point of view.  It is this chance that is not given in a real situation versus a virtual one.

All young men and women have an ideal that they would like to conquer, but in most cases this does not happen.  Unfortunately, ideals are few and far between.  Most people are not as attractive as the models smiling from the pages of magazines or the stars of TV soaps.  If we look back in history, we'll find that this existed for most of humanity.

From the masculine perspective the scheme is simple: power and money attract women and men somehow want to conquer what appears to be their ideal in beauty.  Even people who have physical flaws do not dream about a mate with similar problems.  I'm merely guessing here although there are examples to back me up in world literature: Cirano, Quasimodo to mention the most famous.  Finally, with little exception, everyone meets his/her match.  The system must be working because the race had not died out.  Looking at the divorce statistics we see that it is not working perfectly, but perhaps many marriages would never have taken place had the emotional differences surfaced earlier on in the relationship.  You could cite here that even longer marriages end in divorce.  There must be other reasons for these break ups, but those that lasted for short years or merely months are marriages that would never have made it in this fashion.  In my opinion this is what the net has a perspective in.

The fantastic thing about the net is that the complex we develop about our exterior does not inhibit the spirit from developing.  This conviction is strengthened in me when I read the articles that have appeared in this column.  In the worst case scenario when the physical appearance is completely different from the imagination, you've still made a friend.  That is no small feat these days.  It is probably not important for you to know the continuation of my story, I'll just say that I think it is perhaps time for me to read Faust once more.

Finally, I'm repeating myself by saying that I'm glad to have found your column.  I'll admit that my favorite of the stories was the Lilly Among the Thorns, there was an aura of a very special person emanating from it.  I'm richer now for having read it.

Do Newspapers Have the Right to Print Online Chat Talk?

SPOKANE After what Mayor James West called his "brutal outing" by a newspaper that published transcripts of his conversations from a gay chat room, he complained in an e-mail to the city's commission on race relations. West asked: "Should we all fear that our private conversations will be splashed publicly and out of context for all in our sphere to see?" The answer, Internet privacy advocates say, is "yes."

"Online anonymity is kind of hard to come by," said Beth Givens of the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse, a consumer information privacy group in San Diego.

"You cannot count on anonymity in virtually any online communication, unless you are an expert at using encryption and do a lot of research on the service you are using," Givens said.

After receiving a tip the mayor was offering city jobs to young men he met in a Gay.com chat room, The Spokesman-Review found a way to corroborate the information without having to subpoena records from the chat room's sponsor.

It hired a computer expert to track the identity of the person behind the screen names "Cobra82," "RightBiGuy" and "JMSElton" that it suspected was the mayor.

As a result, West is the subject of a recall for alleged misuse of a city-owned computer for offering internships to young men he met in the gay chat room.

Several civic and business groups have called for West to resign, which he has refused to do.

But the newspaper's series touched off debate about a public figure's private life and about the degree of privacy one can expect on the Internet.

"A chat room is more like having a discussion in a bar. Anyone can come in and listen and participate," said Chris Hoofnagle, director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center-West in San Francisco. "People can hide in the dark corner without you even realizing they are there."

Despite use of anonymous screen names in chat rooms, or moving the conversations to instant messaging services, privacy is not a sure thing on the Internet, the experts said.

"If someone is determined to find out who you are, they will," Givens said.

Law enforcement routinely uses subpoenas in terrorism, child pornography and other investigations to find the identities of Internet chat room users.

But what was unusual about this case was that someone not currently involved with law enforcement was able to unmask a person who thought they were operating anonymously.

City Attorney Mike Connelly appointed a five-person commission into West's alleged misuse of city computers and the U.S. Department of Justice started a preliminary inquiry to see if the mayor violated any federal laws.

The newspaper's ruse upset Steve Eugster, a Spokane lawyer and former city councilman, who said the online investigation violated West's privacy and may have been entrapment.

Eugster wrote Connelly to caution that the city could be inviting potential liability by investigating allegations based on the newspaper's investigative techniques.

But Duane Swinton, a media affairs lawyer who frequently represents The Spokesman-Review, said there are differences between police entrapment and the newspaper's newsgathering methods.

"There's nothing I'm aware of that constitutes a civil claim of entrapment," Swinton said. "It would have to be an invasion of privacy violation. But the law in that area is fairly clear, and in this type of forum, there is no expectation of privacy."

Most government entities and private corporations own the networks their employees use and generally have polices stating their use is not subject to inspection by others, Swinton said.

Most instant messaging providers have strict privacy policies that preclude releasing information on users, except for law enforcement purposes, America Online spokesman Nicholas Graham said Wednesday.

"You can sign up in a very legal way, but provide no information that identifies you," he said. Most free instant messaging services require only a screen name, user-generated password and e-mail address, making it difficult to trace someone, Graham said.

As a place to meet and talk with strangers, one of the appeals of cyberspace lies in its visual silence. Chatrooms, in particular, combine the closeness and directness of the personal letter with the interactivity of the phone conversation, so sidestepping the contemporary obsession with personal appearance and liberating us from the constraints that this imposes. Such conversations in the dark allow us to be reaffirmed in the images we have of ourselves rather than being constrained by our consciousness of all the shortcomings that others might see in us.

Our interviews suggest that part of the appeal of chatrooms for the young lies in the opportunities that they provide to experiment with extended or alternative identities. Ricki Goldman Segall (1998) has shown how this use of computers appeals particularly to teenage girls, who can use the computer to explore and extend their interests in fashion and appearance in intimate and novel ways. Many of the girls we have interviewed have told us how their interests in the Internet grew from the Web sites which promote pop music and fashion — at the time of the study this particularly involved sites that promoted boy bands, many of which contain links that lead them into chatrooms and related sites.

These chatroom sites provide opportunities to try on alternative ways of looking and being in interaction with others, who share similar interests and who appear to take you at 'face value'; a face you can manipulate for effect without fear of detection. On the Internet, you are not restricted to trying on clothes, but can try on different names, origins, life histories, attitudes and opinions, different ways of relating to others, different ages and genders. And you do so knowing that those you are talking with are probably doing the same. Many of the young people we spoke to said that they found this continual uncertainty exhilarating and very different from most of their day to day interactions with others (in 'meat space'), in which role, status and rules constrain interaction within routine and highly predictable forms.

Chatrooms provide more than a stage for trying on new selves; the setting itself can become hyper–real, as all those who participate in it interact in the knowledge that 'no one is quite who they say they are'. It is not unknown for girls and boys, and even researchers to take on new selves. Sherry Turkle tells of her shock and surprise at entering a chatroom anonymously and encountering another Professor Turkle who was there doing research. The fact that in chatroom interactions nothing can be taken for granted, when taken to an extreme, creates a Wonderland that can be compelling. Involvement in it can become the most 'real' world in which you act, as Sherry Turtle puts it, quoting one of her informants, RL Real Life. It's just one more window' (Turkle, 1997).

Currently the sites where these experiments with the presentation of self are most common are in text–based chatrooms, but chatrooms are themselves changing, being linked to 'reality TV', becoming hybridised with SMS (text messaging) and extending into other forms. One that has become popular in the last few years is 'blogging', the keeping of diaries, journals and log books on line (hence 'webblogs') and sometimes linked to Web cams, which link video surveillance to a personal Web site. 'Blogging' has some of the appeal of soap opera, as vernacular 'stars' arise, who keep journals which detail their personal lives, or more insidiously in some of the blogs found on sites that celebrate anorexia. Webcams vary from rather static landscape views (our university has one which is pointed at the sky for weather enthusiasts) to sites apparently managed by young girls who adopt provocative poses and post lists of presents they would like to receive. The trend seems to be increasingly for such sites to become participative and interactive, Anyone can keep a Web log and anyone can read it and respond. And while some Web cams invite voyeurism, others allow you to interact to choose which clothes someone should wear that day from their wardrobe, for instance.

Being a Chat Room Moderator

by Maureen Bothe

While you can mod from anywhere, maintaining peace and harmony among community members requires patience, stamina, and above all, a sense of humor.

Have you ever visited a community web site that had a chat room or a message board? Almost every community site has a chat room these days, and they're not exclusive. Chat rooms have been around a very long time, and you can access thousands of them through IRC (Internet Relay Chat). Some rooms are free-for-all where you can express whatever you want, get rowdy, be silly. Other rooms have a set topic that you must stick to. This is where the moderator comes in.

The moderator, or "mod" as they are sometimes called, has the daunting task of making sure everyone in the room is obeying the site's guidelines. They play Host, greeting anyone who comes in, saying goodbye to those who are leaving, answering questions when needed, and helping the members or visitors find their way around the site. Message boards allow members to communicate throughout the day, leaving messages and discussing a variety of topics. These also need to be moderated for advertising, inappropriate posts or links, and other disruptive behavior. 

In the early days of the Internet, moderators were all volunteers. Today, many sites still have volunteer mods, but the trend is switching to hiring people to host rooms full or part time. The Internet is a 24-hour a day place, and some sites need full time coverage because they are highly interactive and rely on community. Thus, a new job description has been created.

I hosted chats and message boards full time for over a year, working with Blue Barn Interactive. Blue Barn trains and places moderators on assignments to sites such as Martha Stewart, Dreamlife, A&E, CTW, and Office.com. I also hosted chat rooms on IRC servers and on other community sites, as far back as 1994. As the position becomes more demanding and duties are expanded, volunteers find that it is just too much work to do for free. Not every site will want to pay you for your hosting time, but more and more sites are recognizing the need to hire professionals in the field. If you are persistent, you can make a living at moderating.

Moderating appeals to many people because for the most part, it can be done remotely. I hosted all of my rooms and boards from home each day. This is a godsend for parents who want to be home for their children, the disabled who might find it difficult to commute, or those who live in remote areas where there may be no New Media base. Hosting is also appealing because it is fun! Why else would so many people do it for free, right? What's better than to be paid while having a great time communicating with all sorts of people on a variety of topics that interest you?

Not everyone is cut out to be a host, though. It sounds easy, but there are times when your patience is tested and it feels like you're the ringmaster of a three-ring circus. Imagine trying to keep the peace in a room with 20 people in it, all talking at once. If someone violates the guidelines, they need to be warned. If they continue their disruptive behavior, they need to be kicked out of the room. While watching for problems, you also need to be keeping up the topic and chatting. If there is a question, you will need to answer it or let the person know you will find the answer and send it to them after the chat. Visitors will also be coming and going, and you need to greet each and every one. It can get a bit hectic sometimes, but if you can keep your cool in a crowd and organize well, you will have a wonderful time being a host.

There are of course, downsides to hosting. If you get very panicky when a room becomes disruptive, you may have trouble using your authority to calm it down and maintain order. Being the person "in charge" in a room can also make you the "bad guy" to some visitors. Depending on where you're hosting, there can be a considerable amount of resentment from the members at being "babysat." Most of the time, members of a community will be relieved that there is a host to keep order while they enjoy the chat or message board. You might encounter members who will try and make your hosting duties harder for you. There could be times when your nerves get frazzled at having to answer the same question for the 20th time, and sound happy about it, too. It's the little things that mean a lot, as the song goes.

Emergencies may arise if a visitor is depressed or needs help. Always have some support numbers to offer so that the person can get help from a trained professional in that area. Don't try to take care of them yourself. As with any message board, there will be spam to deal with. The conversation could take a turn that you don't personally agree with, but isn't against the guidelines. You need to be tolerant and respectful, encouraging members and new visitors to come back to the site and voice their opinions, no matter how much you might disagree with them.

Chat rooms and message boards are a place where people will feel comfortable sharing information about themselves and their personal lives, but you should be careful of those who share their address, telephone number or other identifying details. Above all, your goal is to create and maintain a fun and safe place to talk about any given topic, and you don't want anyone to be hurt by sharing inappropriate information. If you would not walk up to a stranger and tell them where you live or where your kids go to school, don't do it online.

This is a problem you will see a lot with those who are new to Internet communities. They might scroll a chat screen, TYPE IN ALL CAPS (without realizing that it is considered "shouting"), or not pay attention to the topic. As a host, your job is to be patient and supportive. You were new to the Internet once, too.

Every site has a different flavor, a different theme, and different guidelines. You need to study these carefully and make sure you are performing at the level expected according to the site and its representation. Although it may seem like a day at the beach to work from home, don't forget that it is work, and you are being paid. Take it as seriously as any other job and always act professionally. Don't take insults or complaints from members personally. Be a team player and support your fellow hosts. Above all, have a good time! Moderating isn't about having power over others, it's about fostering open communication and respect. If you are a people person and enjoy interaction in diverse groups, this is a great job for you.

Internet users find cyber romance

John: I think we get along pretty well together, what do you think? Mary: I was wondering when you would notice. **Mary flashes a flirtatious smile** John: What do you say we go somewhere where we can talk alone? Mary: Sure. grin spreads across John's face, barely allowing a sigh of satisfaction to escape. He leans forward and stares lovingly into the glassy, glistening ... computer screen. As the technology generation enters the dating world, an increasing number of college students are abandoning sweaty palms inside a popcorn bowl, awkward stares, smiles from across the room and stuttered invitations to dinner for the safety and convenience a computer screen provides. Various chat rooms and dating services available on the web are multiplying in number. America Online reports that it has "over 6 million potential friends right at your fingertips," making it incredibly simple for anyone to log on and begin the search for a little cyber romance. Everyday, people turn to this avenue of communication to initiate relationships. Based on student research papers written Fall Quarter on the subject, "The main topic brought up was looks. Many said it was nice that they didn't have to worry about looks, that they weren't the focus," said Tamara Sniezek, a Communications Studies 10 teaching assistant. "The big advantage is that you can get to really learn a lot about someone without seeing them first," said Sami, a third-year undeclared UCLA student. Although the monitor masks the appearance of its users, it is only a temporary shield. Unless the enamored pair plans on keeping the relationship online, a meeting without the mediation of the computer is inevitable. Several are quick to vow looks aren't a huge factor in the selection process, yet various stories prove that is not the whole truth. "Eventually you have to meet them, and it turned out that many discovered looks are important after all," Sni said. "Unfortunately there were many stories where they loved the person over the computer, but when they saw them in person they were very disappointed." Some students, such as Johann Rodriguez, a second-year pre-business UC Riverside student, reluctantly admitted they would not pursue a relationship after discovering that the significant other was "ugly." An advantage to using the Internet to meet people as opposed to more conventional means, is the ability to quickly target a specific type of person. Finding others with similar interests comes with ease since most of the conversation centers around hobbies and lifestyles, Sni  said. Ta said he developed a relationship with a girl in an IRC (Internet Relay Chat) chat room, called "California Channel," that began with the discovery that both were "Star Wars" fans. "The Internet allows you to save that time you would use looking for someone with common interests. You can go on and find the certain type of person you're looking for fast," Sniek said. The opportunity to live out fantasies or shed inhibitions is another benefit for Internet users. Without communicating face-to-face with the other person,one can take on a whole new identity. "I'm kind of a shy person, but on the computer I find I'm better with words," said Jennifer Wong, a second-year undeclared UC Riverside student. Those not so eloquent in the flesh, but who have better presentation in writing, can truly benefit from this Internet feature. However, a few downsides may surface when an actual meeting occurs. "Writing allows you more time to think, but it doesn't show the stuttering, eye contact or other non-verbal communication. That's all hidden. When some people met they were shocked to find out that the other person was very socially inept or geeky and awkward," Sniezek said. This freedom to character switch also breeds one of the biggest problems discussed in the research papers, the "whopper" of them all ­ lying. Just picture it: Internet users can say they are five inches taller, have a 4.0 GPA and are the captain of the basketball team. The power to mold another person is at the tips of quick-typing fingers. The only problem arises when someone calls their bluff. "I give really broad descriptions that fit me, but also a bunch of others," Rodriguez said. "I'll say I play sports and then they'll think I'm athletic. It doesn't matter because they're not going to see me anyway." Fortunately, not everyone lies. Despite the stereotype that only the "computer geeks," psychos, and people who have nothing better to do with their time surf the Internet and chat rooms looking for romance, Rodriguez, Wong and Tana all said their Internet partners were in general "normal." "The Internet is actually perfect for people with no time to waste. When you come home tired and have no time to get dressed up and make everything perfect, it comes in handy. You can sit in your sweats and meet people," Sniezek said. Meeting a wide variety of people was another major advantage students agreed on. Chatting online allows contact with people of different backgrounds in terms of culture, education and financial status. "If you go to the corner, you'll probably only encounter UCLA students," Sniek said, "but if you go on the computer you'll meet people from all over." What concerns most students about Internet romance, according to Snieki, is that there isn't any control over who people meet. Just as there is the risk of bumping into dangerous individuals on the street, logging on the computer opens the possibility of talking to a mental case. "There are psychotic people on the Internet. In fact, one of the stories in the research papers discussed a case that led to someone being raped when they finally met," Snie said. A general agreement among interviewed students and Snik was that caution should always be exercised. Whether or not the Internet is an improved alternative to traditional dating, it is definitely part of the future. According to recent Nielsen ratings, 22 percent of people 16 and older in the United Stated have access to the Internet. "It's growing no matter what," said Snik, "you just need to make sure to keep all the dangers in mind and use common sense. It's great for having fun, just be sure to keep it at that level."

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