The Hoildays are coming and all I can think about is how my mom is not here to see this. My mom is gone forever and everyday is so hard cuz I just can't look at one thing without thinking of her. My car, when I use to driver places when she was not feeling well, my room and my bed, when she would sit there and talk to me about life and trobles, my kitchen where she would sit and drink her tea. The park where she loved to have picnics with us. The schools, where she would drop us all off at times. Certian Resturants, how she loved food and loved ordering the most expensive meals, just cuz. Jack in the Box how she loved making mid-night runs for tacos. The 99cent store, where she would love to shop to shop. Certian gas station where she would get her gas. And When ever I drive, how she taught me how too! I mean how am I to move on when everything around me reminds me of her. I love her so much it hurts to think about it! She may have been my step-mother but she was my Mom. I always told her I will never call another person Mom, she was my Mom. Sometimes I just want to crawl up in a ball and just die. But then her daughter comes in my room and makes me smile, Brianna my little sister, its like my mom coming in and comforting me like she use to. I pray to God that she is Happy in the eternal life of everlasting. She was one of the best people I knew in my life. She had her faults and issues and addictions but it was a broken heart that took her away, she was not strong enough to handle life at its wits end. She said her goodbye in her last week of us not knowing it. But I think she knew, all she ever wanted was for all of us to be together again. But life didn't make that happen for her. She always told me that her soul was tired and she was coming to an end, I always thought she was talking crazy. lol I mean who wouldn't ya know? But she proved to me it was so the truth. I wish I can turn the clocks back in time just to hear her voice one last time and get one last hug and one last kiss. To hear her laugh one last time and to be able say I love you one more time. It all feels like a dream that is never going to end. I pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming this. Life has crazy truns, and this was a crazy one for me. And its still going on now. My Mom is gone from this world but she is still with me everywhere I go and I know I will never forget her!
Tags: Mom Life Death
