This is the end of a phase in my life. I am graduating and I can't believe how fast the last 6 years have flew by. It's so weird to be saying goodbye to friends and teachers and now my whole routine will be different.
I just wanted to write this blog because we all have phases in our lifes where we close a door and open up a new door. I have been blessed to have met so many nice people and one thing people always tell me is no matter what happens be happy so I hope that where anyone else is in their life right now they take this moment to realise just what they have and enjoy it. Sometimes we spend so long dwelling on our problems that we forget life goes on. When we look back we wish we would have just enjoyed our time.
For those of you who read my blogs you probably know how in tune I like to be with life but I have realised sometimes when we search too deeply for mysteries, they fade away.
I just wanted to say that although we can't go back and change our beginnings we can start again and make a new ending , the one we want because when you really want something and you believe you can get it then you will. There are so many more things to come in life.
Well the past few weeks have been really sucky. first I cut open the back of my le helping y dad move a couch. and then I find out my mother wh is dieing of cncer has a lump in her back. And then i fall backwards on a metal fold out chair slamming my shoulder into it and scunning some skin on my shoulder. Next my mom lymph nodes are swelling in her neck and then she finds a lump in her side. And then i fall with a coffee pot full of freshly brewed coffee pouring it down the front of me. Burning my somach, thigh, and knee. Then lasnitei find out about an ash coud that may effect my fiae Famine getting here. Whchi sucks cus ive waited so long fo thisand the fact that it can be taken away due to a volcanic ash from ice lan will shut down air fights. It sucks. I put forth money for the ticket.
So yeh the past couple weeks. Have not been so great. I've gotten to the point after burning the front of my body of thinking. You know what fuck it I dont care im not letting nothing ruin my days and nites no more. Sick of having crap happen that screws with my day. So bad things may happen but Im gonna try my hardet not to let crap effect me no more.
I'm sure most of us have lost someone along the way.
When we lose someone we grieve their loss naturally but sometimes we find it hard to cope with these feelings of anger, sadness, resentment, guilt, loneliness, all at once.
Grief is something that needs to be confronted with sensitivity. We need to realise that its ok if we feel down and if we dont wana get out of bed but it becomes a problem when this pattern continues for days and months.
Then one day you wake up and say you are going to get back to your normal life but when you do it never is how it was before , the smallest things remind you of before whether it be a a birthday or a favourite song. You walk down the street and you see something that reminds you of the person you lost.
Sometimes we have tears we have not shed that are building up inside causing more pain. Sometimes we just need to talk to someone and let it all out and thats ok. Everyone deals with grief in a different way but we must deal with it and not let it take control of us.
One thing that is hard to do is to forget and it should not be what you aim to do. Grieving is a journey - where at the end we have become stronger and more experienced with life. By the end we feel more positive to confront life and we know that somedays we are going to feel down , we are going to be reminded of what we dont want to remember but that it will be part of life.
It's an inner journey where at first we ask how could this happen to me?! We become angry asking why we deserve this? We often blame God. But in the end there is acceptance- what has happened has happened and there is no way to avoid it. Life is a journey that must come to an end. What happens after is your own beliefs but I think personally its nice to go through life mostly with positive thoughts for everything happens for a reason even if we cant understand that.
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