Education

Late Modern English (1800-Present)
The main difference between Early Modern English and Late Modern English is vocabulary. Late Modern English has many more words, arising from two principal factors: firstly, the Industrial Revolution and technology created a need for new words; secondly, the British Empire at its height covered one quarter of the earth's surface (‘the sun never sets on the British Empire’). The consequence was a further adoption of foreign words from many countries into the English language.
Varieties of English
From around 1600, the English colonization of North America resulted in the creation of a distinct American variety of English. Some English pronunciations and words "froze" when they reached America. In some ways, American English is more like the English of Shakespeare than modern British English is. Some expressions that the British call "Americanisms" are in fact original British expressions that were preserved in the colonies while lost for a time in Britain (for example trash for rubbish, loan as a verb instead of lend, and fall for autumn; another example, frame-up, was re-imported into Britain through Hollywood gangster movies).

Spanish also had an influence on American English (and subsequently British English), with words like canyon, ranch, stampede and vigilante being examples of Spanish words that entered English through the settlement of the American West. French words (through Louisiana) and West African words (through the slave trade) also influenced American English (and so, to an extent, British English).

Today, American English is particularly influential, due to the USA's global presence and dominance in cinema, television, popular music, trade and technology (including the exploitation of a British invention, the internet and the world wide web). But there are many other varieties of English around the world, including for example Australian English, New Zealand English, Canadian English, South African English, Indian English and Caribbean English.

Middle English (1100-1500)
In 1066 William the Conqueror, the Duke of Normandy (part of modern France) and a blood relative to the English kings, invaded and conquered England. The invasion of 1066 is generally thought of as French, and that was certainly true in linguistic terms, although their roots and self-image went back to the Vikings. Nonetheless, the new conquerors (called the Normans) brought with them a kind of French, which became the language of the Royal Court, the ruling and business classes for several centuries to follow. For a period there was a kind of linguistic class division, where the lower classes spoke English and the upper classes spoke French. The developing richness of the English language benefited from the many French words that were subsequently added and became ‘adopted’ words in the vocabulary of England.

By the late 1300’s, early 1400’s, on the back of a growing literary merchant (or middle) class, the literate world was increasingly an English world. The facility to speak and understand French (and therefore to read and write it) was in marked decline before the end of the 14th century; even for official and formal business. By the middle half of the 14th century English was dominant, with carefully records of the earliest known property deed drawn up in English (1376), Will (1387) and Henry IV’s speech to Parliament (1399) as evidence. The reasons for this quite revolution are complex, but among them may be the patriotism generated by the long war with France. The triumph of the written English language was assured.

Before that happened, one major problem had to be faced: that of regional dialects. Only then could the full potential of the English written and spoken tongue be realised. At this time quaint Cornish, wilfully foreign Welsh, and the unintelligibilities of the Yorkshire dialect could not be fully absorbed into common English. What evolved was based on the emergence of London as the settled capital, York as a subsidiary administrative centre (based on the Minister) and Bristol as the second commercial city. Each had an evolving dialect that inevitably became compre-hensible to the others and gradually fused in a standardised English. This dialect was predominantly midland English, later more commonly known as middle English, which became the victor largely because of the industrious and substantial migration of Midlanders to London in the 14th and 15th Centuries. part hich . known or language. Middle English became the preferred language of the great poet Geoffrey Chaucer (c1340-1400), who had serious misgivings as to whether his writings would be understood across England. However, it would still be difficult for native English speakers to understand today.

Half a century later William Caxton could be more optimistic in that his printed editions could be comprehensible across England’s shire Counties by using common English, not over rude, nor curious. The greater ease of understanding, in both speech and writing, that had developed meanwhile was crucial to the effectiveness of communication, the common expression of opinion, and the forging of a sense of nationhood. By the end of the Middle Ages, English had become ‘the language, not of the conquered, but of a conquering people’ – from kings, noblemen, gentlemen, and townsmen alike.

airhead: stupid person. ace: excellent, great.
Adam and Eve - Rhyming Slang for 'believe'
aggro - short for aggravation or violence amber fluid : beer
anorak - geek, nerd. apples and pears - Rhyming Slang for 'stairs'.
armpit: dirty, unappealing place. arse / ass <slightly offensive> (1): backside.
arse / ass (2): an unworthy person. arse about/arsing about - to fool around
arse-about-face: something that is in a mess or crooked
arseholed: very drunk arvo : afternoon Aussie : Australian
awesome: great and impressive.
backhander (1): a payment given, normally in a secretive fashion.
backhander (2): hit someone. ball (1): a fun time.
ball <slightly offensive> (2): a testicle. ballistic - to go mad with rage
bang <slightly offensive>(1): to make love bang (2): a powerful effect.
banged up - to be put in prison. bangers - another name for sausages.
barbie : barbecue, grill. barf (1): vomit. barmy - a foolish person, mad.
barney - row, violent argument. beans: money. beast <offensive> - an ugly woman.
beat: tired. beemer: a BMW. bent (1): a 'gay man' bent (2): 'stolen'.
biggie: something important. biker: a motorcycle rider. bikkie : biscuit
bimbo - a young woman considered sexually attractive but of limited intelligence.
bird - woman/girl/girlfriend bitch <offensive> (1): a very unpleasant woman.
bitch <offensive> (2): complain. bitchy <slightly offensive>: moody.
bitzer : mongrel dog (bits of this and bits of that!). bladdered - very drunk
blag - a robbery bloke – man blotto - 'very drunk'
blue (1) - XXX; dirty, hot, steamy, pornographic blue (2): domestic fight or row.
bluey - pornographic film boat race - Rhyming Slang for 'face'. bod: body.
bonkers; go bonkers: crazy. bonzer : great. booboo: a mistake.
bovver - trouble, usually fighting. booze: alcohol. boozer (1): a pub
boozer (2): someone who likes alcohol.
Brahms and Liszt - Rhyming Slang for 'pissed' (drunk).
brass monkeys - cold weather bread: money. brew (1): tea or coffee.
brew (2): beer. brill - short for 'brilliant'. bull: bullshit; lie.
bullshit <offensive>: lie; dishonesty. bugger - a mild form of abuse or an exclamation.
bunk-off - to be absent without permission bunk-up - to make love.
bushed: extremely tired. butt: the buttocks, bottom.
cabbage - someone who is a bit slow or stupid cakehole - mouth..
catch some rays: get some sunshine. char / cha - tea.
cheesy: cheap; lacking in good taste. chicken: coward. chook : a chicken
chuck up: vomit
chuck a sickie : take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy.
ciggy - slang for cigarette. cock and bull story - a rubbish story, nonsense.
(to) cop it - to die, to get into trouble. cool: excellent; superb.
cooler, the: gaol; jail; prison
couch potato: a person who watches too much television.
cozzie : swimming costume cranky : in a bad mood, angry.
crap <slightly offensive> (1): something worthless. crap <offensive> (2): excrement.
crap <slightly offensive> (3): falsehoods and lies.
crikey - an expression of astonishment. crust - money / wage. cushy - easy.
dead cert - something that is definite. deck: to hit someone.
dicey: unpredictable; risky. dickhead <slightly offensive> - an idiot, fool.
dill : an idiot. ding-dong - argument or fight. dipstick - idiot, fool.
dirt: extremely bad person. dirty: offensive; pornographic.
div/divvy - stupid or slow person. doodle - something thats easy / no problem.
dodgy - dubious person or thing. dog <offensive> - an ugly girl.
done over - beaten up dope - a slow or stupid person.
doobry - a nonsensical word used when you forget the name of something
dorky: strange; peculiar. dosh - money.
dosser - down-and-out, tramp. down under : Australia and New Zealand.
Drongo : a dope, stupid person. dude: a male.
dump <slightly offensive> - to defecate. dyke <offensive> - lesbian.
dynamite: powerful; excellent. dinosaur: something out of date or old fashioned.
earbashing : nagging, non-stop chatter. evil: great; excellent.
eyeball: to stare long and hard at someone or something.
eyepopper: something or someone visibly astounding.
fab: fabulous. face-off: confrontation. fag <offensive> (1): homosexual
fag (2): cigarette family jewels - Rhyming Slang for testicles.
far out - splendid. fart <offensive> (1): an escape of gas from the bowels.
fart <slightly offensive> (2): an unpleasant person fat head - an idiot or dull person.
fender-bender: small accident. filth <offensive> - the police.
fit - sexually attractive. five finger discount - shoplifting. flaky: unpredictable.
flashback: sudden memory. flick (1): film; movie.
flick (2): to give something or somebody the flick is to get rid of it or him/her
floating : intoxicated floozie - a mistress or girlfriend. flommox - confuse
flutter - a bet (on horse racing or football) footie - Abbreviated form for football.
for crying out loud ! - a expression of frustration or anger.
forty winks - a short sleep or nap. fox: attractive, alluring person.
freebie: something that does not cost money. French kiss : kissing with the tongue.
full monty - 'the whole lot', everything. full-on - powerful, with maximum effort.
funny farm - mental hospital or institution. funny money - counterfeit money.
gaff - house or flat. gander - to look at.
geek: an unattractive person who works too hard. get it: to understand something.
glitch: flaw. gobshite <offensive> - someone who talks rubbish all the time.
go bananas: go slightly mad. good onya : good for you, well done
goof (1): make a mistake. goof (2): a silly and foolish person. goof off: waste time.
goof up: make a mistake. goofy: silly. Gordon Bennet - an exclamation.
grand: one thousand dollars. grass: marijuana.
greaser - slang name for a 1950's style man. grog : alcohol, beer. grub: food.
grubby: not clean. grungy: unclean and stinky. gut: a person's stomach; belly.
guts: courage. gyno - gynaecologist hacked off - fed up, annoyed.
hairy: difficult; dangerous. ham-fisted - clumsy. hammered - drunk.
handcuffs: an engagement ring or wedding ring hang a left: make a left turn.
hang a right: make a right turn. headcase – mad hep: sensible; informed.
her ('er) indoors - wife, girlfriend. hickey: a love bite on the skin.
hip: sensible; informed. hole in the wall - a cashpoint machine or bankomat.
hoo-ha - trouble; commotion. hooker: prostitute.
horny: in the mood for sex, sexually stimulated;. hot (1): sexy.
hot (2):popular. hottie : hot water bottle huff - bad mood.
humungous: really big.
hump (1) - to have sex. hump (2) - bad mood. hyper: overly excited.
icky: unpleasant. I.D.: identification. iffy - dubious, doubtful.
I'm outta here: I'm leaving; I'm departing. in: fashionable.
ivories: teeth. jack around: waste time. jam (1): trouble.
jam (2): improvise (musically). jamming, to be : going well. jammy - lucky.
jerk: stupid or annoying person. jock: someone good at sports.
K : a thousand. keep your hair on - "keep calm". kick back: relax and enjoy.
kick the bucket: die. kip - sleep. knackered - exhausted. knees up - party.
knock: condemn, criticise. knockout: beautiful woman; handsome man.
knock back : refusal (noun), refuse (transitive verb) kook: peculiar person.
kraut <slightly offensive> - German laid back: relaxed; calm. lairy - loud, brash.
lame: incompetent. legless - very drunk. limp wristed - a gay man.
lip: cheeky talk. loaded - someone with a lot of money. loo : toilet
loser: a bungling and worthless person. lost the plot - crazy/mad.
love handles: excess fat around the waist.
luvverly jubberly - wonderful, great, all is well. make waves: cause problems.
malarkey - nonsense. mate – friend max, to the : maximum. mega: big.
megabucks: a large amount of money. mellow: relaxed.
mickey-mouse: unimportant; time-wasting.
minger <offensive> - an unattractive person (usually female).
mongrel : despicable person
moonie <offensive!> - to show one's bottom (arse) to unsuspecting onlookers.
moose <offensive> - an ugly girl. mozzie : mosquito mug : a gullible person.
naff - something which is cheap and nasty. naff off - a milder version off fu*k off.
nancy (nancy boy) - a homosexual. nark - a police informer.
narked - to be annoyed. neat: cool; great. nick - to steal. nipper - a small child.
no-hoper - somebody who'll never do well nosh - food.
not cricket - not normal or correct.
not all there - someone who is stupid, not bright intellectually
not half! - cetainly, for sure.
not the full quid - someone who is stupid, not bright intellectually.
nuke (1): nuclear weapon. nuke (2): destroy; delete.
nuke (3): cook something in the microwave oven. nut (1): odd or crazy person.
nut (2): someone passionate about something. nutter - crazy person.
nuts <slightly offensive>: testicles. nutty - eccentric.
off your face - to be very drunk. out of your tree - crazy, drunk or stoned.
pad: someone's home. pants (1) - an exclamation of frustration.
pants (2) - bad or rubbish. party: celebrate.
party animal: someone that loves parties. paws: hands. peanuts: very little money.
pee: to urinate. pickled: drunk. pig out: eat too much.
pigs ear: to make a mistake with something. piss <slightly offensive> - to urinate.
pissed - drunk. pissed (off): angry; upset.
piss-head - a habitual drinker or alcoholic. piss-up - a big drinking session.
plank - an idiot. plastered: drunk. plonker - an idiot pad: someone's home.
plonk (1) : cheap wine plonk (2): sit down - as in "plonk your arse down there".
poop <offensive>: defecation; shit. poop out: get tired and quit.
postie : postman pot: marijuana. prezzy : present, gift
pro - someone who's good at something; professional. psycho: crazy person.
puke: vomit. pumped (up): excited. queer <slightly offensive> - a homosexual.
rabbit - talk. racket (1): noise. racket (2): an occupation.
racket (3): something that's dishonest or deceptive. rat: a despicable person.
rat-arsed - drunk. rear (end): buttocks. (a) riot - something or someone very funny.
rip off (1): stealing. rip off (2): fraud. ripper : great, fantastic
rocking: great; excellent. roll up - a hand rolled cigarette. rosie lee - tea
rubbish: nonsense; not true. ruck - a fight. rug - wig, toupee. rug rat: a child.
rum - odd, strange. runs, the: diarrhoea. scoff: to eat.
screw up: to make a mistake. screw-up: a person who makes a mistake.
scum (offensive> - a despicable individual. shades - sunglasses.
shag <slightly offensive> - to make love. shagged-out - to feel tired.
shed-load - a huge amount. shite - milder variation of the word shit.
shitfaced <slightly offensive> - very drunk.
shithead <slightly offensive>: a stupid, impolite person. skint - to have no money
skosh - a little bit. slapper <offensive> - a loose or easy woman.
smeghead - an idiot. snog - to kiss snookered: cheated, stuck.
solid (1): really good; cool. solid (2): consecutive. specs: eyeglasses.
split: to leave. spunk <offensive> (1): semen spunk (2): spirit.
spunk (3): an attractive man. stoned: drunk from drugs or alcohol.
stunner - a very good looking woman. street smart: knowledgeable about city life.
strewth : exclamation (I'll be) stuffed : expression of surprise
suck: to be bad and unacceptable. sunnies : sunglasses
swagman : tramp sweet - excellent, cool. ta - thanks.
tacky - something of poor taste or style. tanked (up) - to get very drunk.
tea leaf - Rhyming Slang for thief. telly - television.
thick as shit <offensive>- very stupid.
thick as two short planks <offensive> - very stupid.
thingo : Wadjamacallit, thingummy, whatsit, something you don't know the name of!
thou: thousand. threads: clothing. ticker (1): the heart. ticker (2): a watch.
tiddly - slightly drunk. toss-pot <slightly offensive> - idiot. totally: really; completely.
to the max: maximum. troll - an ugly girl. (the) trots - diarrhoea.
trouble and strife - Rhyming Slang for 'wife'. trout <offensive> - unattractive woman
turkey (1): failure; flop. turkey (2): dumb person.
turn-off: something that repulses a person. umpteen: many; countless.
up for it - to be willing to have a good time. up the duff - to be pregnant.
Uncle Tom Cobley and all - a phrase meaning 'everyone'.
uptight: nervous; anxious. veg out : relax in front of the TV (like a vegetable)
wad: a lot of money. wanker - an idiot or an unpleasant person. wasted: killed.
weed (1): marijuana. weed (2): someone who is weak. wheels: car; motorcycle.
whiz: someone who shows a special talent for something. wicked - excellent, cool.
wimp: weak; feeble. wimpy: weak. wind up - to tease. winks: sleep.
wuss : coward x-rated - pornographic. yabber : talk (a lot) Yank: an American.
yob - a horrible or uncouth young man. zeds - sleep.
zero - an unimportant person. zilch - nothing zip (1) -nothing.
zip (2) - energy; vigor. zip it - shut up. zit: pimple; acne.

English is a crazy language

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you would bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to anasylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at aplay and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?